What Does Masculinity and Leadership Look Like Today?
It’s Time for Men to Step Up- and Help Everyone Thrive
Men today are facing something of a paradox—at least, those of us who strive to be decent human beings with a contemporary view of the world. We do our best to live and act with integrity, believing that misogyny, discrimination, prejudice, and bigotry have no place in a modern, fair, and democratic society.
Yet we’re also told to embody strength, resilience, and ambition, while simultaneously being open, empathetic, and collaborative. We’re told to hustle harder, but not too hard; to lead, but not dominate; to succeed, but never at the cost of others or our own mental health. For many men, this feels like walking a tightrope—constantly balancing expectations without a clear sense of direction or purpose.
The result, in my opinion? A growing number of men who, on the surface, seem to have it all—good careers, loving families, material wealth—but who inwardly feel stretched too thin, emotionally disconnected, and unsure if their lives truly align with a deeper sense of meaning and legacy.
As someone who spent decades in high-stakes business environments, and who now works as a coach and therapist for high-achieving men, I regularly witness the toll these pressures take. Many of the men I work with aren’t just battling external stressors—demanding jobs, complex personal relationships, financial responsibilities—but also grappling with an internal crisis of identity and purpose.
This isn’t solely about individual well-being. It’s about the ripple effect our struggles have on the broader community. Say what you will, but men still occupy many of the most influential leadership roles in society. Whether we like it or not, how we show up as leaders and as role-models—at work, at home, and in our communities—sets the tone for the people and systems around us.
Crucially, this doesn’t only affect men. The way we lead and behave has a profound impact on the women in our lives—our partners, colleagues, family, and friends. When men embody collaboration, respect, and integrity, we create environments in which women can also thrive. It’s not about relinquishing power; it’s about sharing responsibility and reward, ensuring everyone has the opportunity to succeed on their own terms.
Of course, we can’t lead effectively or inspire others if we ourselves are running on empty or clinging to outdated ideals of manhood. The unchecked impact of ‘toxic masculinity’ has rightly been called out for its harmful consequences. However, many well-intentioned attempts to ‘replace’ it haven’t lived up to expectations – some have even created new forms of toxicity around the issue.
As a result, many men feel confused and unclear about how to navigate or implement the evolving expectations placed on them. Meanwhile, the rise of phenomena such as techbro elitism—driven by individuals who conflate power with ego and dominance—adds another disturbing dimension to the debate around male influence. Let’s be honest: this brand of “dic(k)tatorship” is hardly a model that fair-minded men would aspire to, let alone could realistically emulate.
So, where do we go from here? Is there an alternative approach that resonates with men who want to succeed without sacrificing their integrity—or the well-being of others?
A New Framework: Thriving Masculinity
I believe it’s time to embrace what I call Thriving Masculinity. This isn’t about perfection, nor is it about abandoning ambition, strength, or being a man. Instead, it’s about redefining how men conduct themselves, balancing sustainable personal achievement with enhanced collective responsibility.
Among other things, Thriving Masculinity means:
- Strength with integrity: Having the courage to face challenges and stand up for what’s right, even when it’s uncomfortable.
- Defining success on your own terms: Grounding your ambitions in purpose and values, rather than external pressures.
- Collaboration over competition: Recognising that true strength lies in lifting others up as you climb, creating an environment where everyone—women and men—can thrive.
- A commitment to betterment: Understanding that your growth as a man is inseparable from the growth of those around you—your family, your colleagues, your community.
This isn’t just a nice idea; it’s a necessary shift. The current model clearly isn’t working for many men, who continue to suffer from stress-related health issues. Men are roughly 50% less likely than women to seek professional help when facing mental health concerns, and account for 70–80% of adult suicides across North America and Europe.
By contrast, men who thrive don’t just survive stress or achieve individual success; they also inspire and empower others. Crucially, they champion environments where women participate as equals—at work, at home, and in society at large. That’s the kind of masculinity that drives meaningful progress for everyone.
This vision isn’t abstract for me—it’s deeply personal. After years in high-pressure corporate roles, I’ve faced my own battles with stress, burnout, and self-doubt. I know how it feels to be caught in the grind, measuring self-worth by output and numbing discomfort with unhealthy coping mechanisms.
I’ve also experienced the transformative power of change. Through my own journey—and by helping countless men redefine their lives—I’ve witnessed what’s possible when we confront our challenges head-on, with brutal honesty. When we align our lives with a deeper sense of purpose. When we commit to living with integrity and using that as a foundation to contribute to something greater than ourselves.
This is why I founded the Thriving Men Organisation and created The Thriving Man app. They’re designed to equip busy, high-achieving men with the tools, inspiration, and community they need to thrive—and to lift others as they climb. My hope is that we’re not just enabling individual transformation, but also helping shape a platform that meaningfully contributes to the conversation about modern masculinity—one that benefits everyone.
If this resonates with you, I encourage you to pause for a moment of ‘brutal honesty’ and reflect on your own journey:
- Are the goals I’m chasing truly my own, or am I climbing a ladder someone else set up for me?
- Do my daily actions align with my values, or am I stuck in a cycle of reactive decisions?
- Most importantly, how am I contributing to the betterment of those around me?
This isn’t about reinventing yourself from scratch. It’s about recalibrating who you already are, so that your efforts not only enhance your own well-being but also create a positive knock-on effect for the people you engage with. Ultimately, it’s about recognising and acknowledging your influence on the communities you’re part of—and on the society we all share.
Because when good men thrive, everyone benefits.
Thank you for reading. I’d love to hear your thoughts on Thriving Masculinity. How do you see masculinity evolving in today’s landscape, and what does leadership look like for you? Let’s keep the conversation going—please share your perspective in the comments below.